


Star Crossed and Soul Bonded

by salexectria



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Timeline, Crack Fic, M/M, No Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Rated T for language, Romantic Comedy, Soul Bond, Yaldabaoth - God of Control - Creates Soulmates as a way to control the population, and fucks up big time, this whole thing is very Silly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29421045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salexectria/pseuds/salexectria
Summary: Gabriel drew in a stuttering breath. “You know how the general populace craved companionship but couldn’t be bothered to find their own companions and desired a quick and easy way to find the love of their lives….so you created a way to control who fell in love with who…”“Yes, we established soulbonds as a way to control the issue,” Yaldabaoth explained as if Gabriel had been born yesterday.They were not thank you very much but Gabriel did not want to further provoke the God of Control anymore than they were about to.“Well…,” Gabriel glanced over to where Michael was hovering, having also descended to listen in. The little shit. “An… unexpected... soul bond was activated a few days ago, and it was just brought to my attention.”Yaldabaoth eyed Gabriel with suspicion. Or at least that’s what Gabriel thought that Yaldabaoth was doing, as the God of Control didn’t really have eyes but the weight of his gaze was definitely there.  “What do you mean, unexpected.”The cries of humanity fell silent.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 12
Kudos: 67





	Star Crossed and Soul Bonded

Gabriel’s wings fluttered anxiously as they paced along the Prison of Regression’s rim.

“Stop stalling and tell him.”

Gabriel shot their counterpart a dark look. “I don’t see why I have to do it, you were there with me, _Michael_ , when we saw… saw,” Gabriel gulped.

Yaldabaoth was going to be furious.

“You saw it first!” Michael cried, “It’s your responsibility to break the news to our most holy. You hold the highest position among the angelic servants anyway.”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Gabriel huffed, wringing their hands. They took a deep breath. “I can do this,” they muttered to themselves as they descended into the pit where Yaldabaoth was resting.

Usually the groans and cries of the enslaved souls of humanity was a welcoming chorus but Gabriel couldn’t help but think, in this situation, it sounded discordant, ominous...

Gabriel’s feet touched down before the giant Grail, and they dropped to their knees, folding their wings neatly behind them. “Y-Your holiness, if I might have an audience--”

“Speak.” A beam of swirling black flames encased the grail, and from its fire a figure coalesced into being. A projection of Yaldabaoth’s true form manifested before Gabriel, sending their nerves into overdrive. “I have no time for trivialities,” Yaldabaoth’s voice shook the circular room, causing the groans in the room to pitch feverishly. Despite his newly formed smaller form, scaled to match Gabriel’s, his voice was no less magnificent.

Gabriel had no idea how to start. Yaldabaoth’s greatest game had just begun, a testament to his ingenuity and power, a true test of the wills of humanity. And it might be doomed to fail because of one simple oversight.

How could they possibly broach this subject without incurring the ire of the God before them?

They drew in a stuttering breath. “You know how the general populace craved companionship but couldn’t be bothered to find their own companions and desired a quick and easy way to find the love of their lives….so you created a way to control who fell in love with who…”

“Yes, we established soulbonds as a way to control the issue,” Yaldabaoth explained as if Gabriel had been born yesterday. 

They were not thank you very much but Gabriel did not want to further provoke the God of Control anymore than they were about to.

“Well…,” Gabriel glanced over to where Michael was hovering, having also descended to listen in. The little shit. “An… unexpected... soul bond was activated a few days ago, and it was just brought to my attention.”

Yaldabaoth eyed Gabriel with suspicion. Or at least that’s what Gabriel thought that Yaldabaoth was doing, as the God of Control didn’t really have eyes but the weight of his gaze was definitely there. “What do you mean, _unexpected_.”

The cries of humanity fell silent.

“You see…” Gabriel was pretty sure they were about to self-combust. “I think it’d be easier to show you.”

Gabriel brandished a hand and a solitary prison cell descended from the second floor of the circular room. The bars of the prison swung open, revealing a gateway into the human world. Peering in, one could see a pair of young teens, one with messy black hair and glasses and the other a brunette in a pressed shirt and striped tie, making love struck puppy eyes at each other over a billiards table, completely enamoured with one another.

For any other coupling, this would have been adorable, and the angels would have gathered around the cell to coo at the so horrendously obvious displays of affection, watching the couple get flustered and gravitate towards one another. 

But this wasn’t just any coupling. 

These boys were the exalted players in Yaldabaoth’s Great Game. The Trickster, Agent of Humanity, and his sworn mortal enemy, The Harbinger, The Agent of Chaos.

Somehow, someway, _someone_ , had fucked up and bonded them. 

Gabriel fought off another intrusive thought that if Yaldabaoth had a jaw it would have dropped to the floor.

“ _SAID THEY WERE TO HAVE AN EPIC RIVALRY, NOT EPIC ROMANCE GABRIEL_.”

Gabriel flinched at the roar, wings shrinking against their back. The enslaved around them reacted in tandem, their cries and screeches echoing in an endless wail.

“ _SPITEFUL TENSION. NOT SEXUAL TENSION, GABRIEL_.”

Gabriel mumbled something under their breath, continuing to shrink themselves under the oppressive presence.

“ _RAISE YOUR VOICE OR SAY NOTHING AT ALL YOU USELESS CREATURE_.”

“I said,” Gabriel pitched their voice louder to be heard over the displeasure of humanity continuing to ring out around them, staring at a spot on the floor they were hovering above, “we had no part of creating this bond!”

Yaldabaoth froze. Gabriel gulped.

When Yaldabaoth spoke again, his voice was eerily quiet and level. “Are you implying...that it was my own negligence that allowed this to occur.”

“I-I wouldn’t have used those words, exactly, sire,” Gabriel managed to squeak under the overbearing presence of the God, “but, uh, maybe?”

Yaldabaoth let out the longest sigh known to man. “ _Damn it_.”

With a flourish of metallic wings, Yaldabaoth disappeared. The grail and the parts of humanity in the Prison going quiet once more.

“Well, that could have gone a lot worse.”

“ _Shut the fuck up, Michael_.”

* * *

Yaldabaoth decided to deal with the Trickster first.

A metal clang reverberated around the Velvet Room, shocking their guest to attention. 

“Stop humming inmate!” Caroline stomped her foot for additional emphasis. “Get your head out of the clouds and listen to what our Master has to say!”

“I believe this is what humans call, the “honeymoon phase,” Justine commented with a tilt of her head.

Yaldabaoth could work with this.

“I have noticed your soulbond has activated,” Yaldabaoth said, using Igor’s mouth to form the words. It didn’t take much energy to possess this being’s mind and keep him in stasis while Yaldabaoth was out doing much more important things, but it did take a little more concentration to stay in character. “You must be feeling overwhelmed.”

The Trickster’s face flushed. “You can tell?”

“I am aware of all the bonds you create. They lend you strength. This one is the most powerful one you have established yet.”

Yaldabaoth had been preaching about bonds, confidants, and friendships to this human for about two months at this point, so he couldn’t suddenly change his whole stance on the matter simply because of a poorly designed soulbond. Yaldabaoth still isn’t entirely convinced it was his doing. Michael had been acting awfully skittish in his presence as of late, so Yaldabaoth’s suspicions were heightened. 

Then again, he had created over a million bonds the day The Trickster and Harbinger’s hearts called out for love, so perhaps it really had been--

Nope. It couldn’t be his fault. 

But he was still responsible for fixing the fuck up.

“It is imperative that you nurture all your bonds in order to fulfill your rehabilitation. Do not forsake the others simply because this one is new and holds great power over your heart. Balance is the key, and each is equally important. Don’t let this bond consume you and condemn you to ruin.”

Funnily enough, Yaldabaoth hoped that would exactly happen. But he had to stay in character.

Human teenagers, especially rebellious ones such as the specimen before him, didn’t particularly like being told what to do, so he hoped by pushing the human in one direction, away from deepening his bond, it would have the opposite effect.

A hardened edge appeared in the Trickster’s eyes. “I won’t.”

As Yaldabaoth looked upon his guest, he realized that the Trickster was still very young. “How much do you know about soulbonds?”

Usually one’s parents discussed the nature of soulbonding with their children once they reached a certain age, but Yaldabaoth had unfortunately made it so that The Trickster would be isolated from most adult support to further his agenda. 

“Enough.” The Trickster quickly averted his eyes.

Yaldabaoth sighed. “Given your parents are unfortunately not involved in your life, I imagine you know very little about bonding, and all the ways it can manifest. They are intense connections one experiences with only one other individual in their lifetime. The very fabric of their souls are entwined. This bond can be experienced in many different ways depending on the nature of the individuals. Some bonds are purely empathetic links, exchanging emotional communication with one another. Others share dreams, or visions. Some sensations. In rare cases, all of the above. While not everyone’s bonds are inherently sex--”

His Trickster made a very interesting noise, his face turning crimson. “You don’t have to do this, my, uh, current guardian already gave me _The Talk_ after he found out my bond activated!” He ran a hand through his hair sheepishly, “Though I appreciate the sentiment.”

_Ah, the Hierophant, that’s right._

Well, if anything, at least it will spare Yaldabaoth the pains of explaining the informational nuances of love, desire, and pleasure soulbonds are capable of possessing to the fledgling human before him. One less headache to worry about.

In the distance, an alarm began to ring.

“Ruin is nigh, Trickster. Do not give in to temptation or your demise will be inevitable.”

* * *

It had been years since Yaldabaoth appeared before his Agent of Chaos. He preferred a hands off approach for this one. For a very good reason he was experiencing at the moment.

Yaldabaoth dodged the blow a second too late, and a chunk of his summoned material form was cleaved from his shoulder. It hit the floor of Mementos with a sickening clank.

The Harbinger screeched, “Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?”

_Teenagers._

Yaldabaoth hovered just out of his Harbinger’s reach. “I am here to remind you that bonds will lead to your demise. Forsake all others, thineself is all that is needed.”

“I KNOW that, god damnit!” The Harbinger released a furious cry and punched the wall, visibly recoiling. “I didn’t _ask_ for a soulmate,” his Harbinger cried, “I didn’t ask for-for these _feelings_.”

 _You kind of did_ , Yaldabaoth thought, _otherwise I wouldn’t have answered the call in your heart_.

“For him of all people!” His Harbinger continued, needing no prompting from Yaldabaoth. “That idiotic fool of a man Kurusu!” 

A chunk of the wall went flying from where his saber shaved it off. 

_He’s destroying my palace_ , Yaldabaoth lamented, but opted to stay quiet and let the Harbinger tire himself out. He was much easier to deal with when his rage burned him out.

“Kurusu and his stupid charming smile,” the saber serrated another section of wall, “and his stupid fucking endearingly disheveled bed head,” another scorch mark joined the first, “and his damn doe eyes that gaze at me like...like I’m the only person in the whole world for him!”

_Unfortunately, that much is true._

“It makes me sick!”

Yaldabaoth ducked as another chunk of wall sailed past his head.

“I’ll-I’ll destroy him!”

 _That’s better_ , Yaldabaoth had much more faith in his Harbinger than his Trickster. 

He left The Agent of Chaos to scream and wail in his lovestruck agony without a worry. 

His Harbinger was very much still under his control.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is literally titled "Yaldabaoth Fucks Up" in docs library lmao, i can't believe i wrote this its so dumb but it made me laugh. i'll finish this soon, it's been a nice reprieve against the sad angst i've been writing in Take Back Your Time
> 
> happy valentines day


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